Living life on life’s terms – going invisible!
There are two things I have mastered in life – one is going invisible when the occasion calls for it and the other blending with the background like a chameleon. While most of my friends and acquaintances will tell you that I’m the most trustworthy person they have ever met, my way of handling crunch situations baffles many and I have been the subject of rebuke and cursing many a time. But I’m a timid man living in a dangerous world, so my first instinct says ‘run’ and my second instinct says ‘negotiate.’ While 90 percent cases I do run or negotiate, only when my reputation as a man is at stake, I do fight back. But these extreme situation seldom happen.
On one such occasion, I blended with the background and saved my skin and that of 3 acquaintances and a cousin of mine. It was in the early nineties and ULFA militancy in Assam was, though not in its peak, dominant. It was the evening of the day before a cousin sister’s marriage in Sivasagar, an ULFA infested district then. Those days marriages were conducted in banquet halls where guests were also provided rooms to stay. On this occasion the banquet hall was probably a couple of kilometers away from my cousin’s place. Another cousin of my age with three friends of his had also come to attend the marriage.
Before dinner all five of us decided to have a drink or two before going to my cousin’s house where dinner was being cooked for about two dozen of family members. After a drink too many, my cousin and his three friends got sloshed. Since the house was just walkable distance we decided to walk, my cousin along with his friends singing and dancing in the streets. Then came an unfortunate cycle-rickshaw, seeing which my cousin and his friends barring one jumped on to the rickshaw. The rickshaw puller protested and cried for help and as I watched them arguing with the rickshaw puller came a jeep full of policemen with batons and rifles in hand. My cousin was pulled by his jacket and thrown into the back of thejeep, another gets a jab on his back with the butt of the rifle and joined my cousin and the third? Where’s he?
As I continued to walk at a leisurely pace pretending I was not with them, came the third running with all might and as he neared us shouted, “police…police…run…run” and continued running followed by another jeep full of policemen. The fourth friend of my cousin who was besides me all this time said, “let’s help them.” Realising that it was no good fighting with the baton-welding law-enforcing system for some acquaintances whom I had met just a couple of hours back, I decided that saving my skin was the best option. So continuing at the same pace, without looking at him I hold his hand and whispered, “if you want you can go. But we will need one person to go home and tell our elders that my cousin and his three friends have been picked by the police…I will be the man…you go ahead and try to save them.” As I completed my sentence, we saw the third victim’s plight. Realizing that the police would catch up with him anyways, he gave up the chase below a blazing street-light enabling the furious policemen to get a good view of the areas in his frail body where they should be hitting.
Seeing this, our good Samaritan friend who just a couple of minutes back wanted to help his friends from the pangs of the dozen of policemen, too said that it was a better idea to inform the elders at home instead. But that was never to be…my cousin and his frightened friends from the back of the jeep called out his name and pleaded for help. I took probably three big steps to break away from the fourth probable victim and walked away into the night. Thankfully my cousin and his friends’ calls for help from me were drowned by the cursing of the police and the ruckus the old vehicles were making.
I soon reached home and gave a full account of how things unfolded adding my own dramatic opinions and feedback so that they swing into action immediately. Thankfully however, realising that they had picked the wrong guys, and that they were not ULFA cadets and were just college-going revelers attending a marriage function, the police dropped the four of them home just as some influential elders were about to go to the police station.
Now my fundas of life are:
- Remember what the flight attendant says: In case of emergency put on the oxygen mask first and then try to help others.
- And remember what Dale Carnegie had said: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Best friends for never and the guide book that never was!
“I wonder how many times you have to be hit on the head before you find out who’s hitting you?”
This Harry Truman quote has great significance…now I know it well! It was just after I completed a project that I held very close to my heart – bringing out a city guide book. After successfully commissioning the guide’s content, I consulted several friends, mostly marketing professionals, on how the guide would fare in the market. Please let me confess here that I’m very bad in marketing…I can’t…I don’t have the gift of gab.
I can remain invisible for 365 days and get things done as instructed to me. But to sell something…I dread at the thought of meeting people, introducing myself and selling a product. With very minuscule budget, my marketing friends were the best bet to help me out in bringing in sponsors and advertisers. I was pinning my hopes on them. I have heard them talking big – rubbing shoulders with bigwigs in the industry…getting sponsors for my guide would be easy – I thought!
With whatever resources available with me, I placed everything on the table. I printed a couple of dummy copies for my marketing friends to show their clients.
The first look evoked an invariable ‘wow!’ So it would be an early evening meeting with them to discuss the prospects of the guide. Rounds of beer followed and excel sheets shown, estimates made and profits shared. Colors of the sedan I would have to gift my friend for bringing in sponsorship for me were also discussed and as the night grew old and with every burp all were forgotten.
By next afternoon another proposal, another profitable idea from my dear friends lit my hope’s lamp and by evening I had already raked in more imaginary money than I thought my guide book could make, followed by a morning when everything was forgotten – time to move on!
I never lost hope or probably my faith on my friends was even more for my brain to comprehend that I was being taken for a ride. Months of persuasion and desperation led to calls being not answered or ‘will call you later’, mobile phones being lost ‘so I lost your number’ and friends remaining on official tours to almost all cities of the countries thus ‘I will come to Delhi and speak to you.’
Gradually and sadly enough I came to know who was hitting on my head – repeatedly and more fiercely. Knowing well of my limitations, I started giving the slip to these friends and decided to scrap the entire project. Today the left over copies on my desk tell me everyday that not all good things have a happy ending.
Now my fundas of life is:
- If you play dead, you will be skinned.
- If you are footing the bill in the bar for a friend you are stupid and if you believe what he tells you now you are actually allowing him to treat you like a stupid again.
- Never believe a friend after he had two beers
